Tonight's episode of Dancing with the Stars.

Here is a recap of tonight's episode:

The opening act was a playful number with both finalists.


In Round 1, the princess started out strong with the Salsa.

DQ danced the Fox Trot and got a little carried away with her props, but had a strong ending.

Next up in Round 2, the Princess danced the Quick Step. Her choreography was flawless. Perfect 10s from the judges.

DQ must have gotten a little nervous from the Princess's perfect performance. DQ tried to entice the judges with a strip tease dance.

She was later disqualified.

Mother's Day Bike Ride

I think the bike ride wiped me out also. I have nothing creative to say.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there!

Dear John...

Dear Monte,
You have been in my life for almost 9 years. We’ve had a lot of good times and I’ve really enjoyed being with you. However, it is time for me move on. I’m sorry, but I am really needing someone a little more family oriented and I don't think you are going to change. I think it’s time we broke up.

You were my first and you will always have a special place in my heart. At first, your only role was to be eye candy. I didn't expect much from you except good performance. Then you started taking on more duties. I made you carry my bikes. The king made you pull his golf cart. Sometimes, you even carried around both of the girls around at once. Let's be honest, you were just not made to do all this.

I wish you the best of luck. I’m sure I will be seeing you around and I don’t hope it will not make you uncomfortable when I am with my new ride. You just aren’t family material and I need to think about the future. I need to move on to the next phase of my life. My life as a Mini-Van Mom.

Love,
Your Royal Highness

CSI: The Castle

There has been a crime spree in the castle the past 24 hours. Our investigators have been hot on the case.

Yesterday evening the King's wallet was taken out of our bedroom after the girls were sweetly sleeping in beds. The intruder removed nearly everything from the wallet including credit cards, pictures, punch cards and his drivers license and left the empty wallet in the middle of our hallway. The intruder must have felt sorry for the King and left his $4 in cash. Later we found the the contents of his wallet in the princess's bed. We believe the looter was trying to frame the princess since there was no way she could have have done this since she was asleep at the time of the crime.

Today when the King was home with our little angels alone, vandals came into the house and smeared the King's lotion all over the princess's bedroom. Evidence of the vandelism was everywhere.



The King was beginning to worry that he was the target of all this crime activity. However this evening, shortly after I had cleaned our kitchen floor, a graffiti artist decided that our white floor needed some color.



Our officials have one suspect in custody and are currently questioning a possible accomplice. No motives are known at this time.

Another conversation from the car...

Momma?
Yes princess?
My boogers match the trees.

Fashion Dos and Don'ts from the Castle

DO wear monochromatic outfits for a slimming look.



DON'T wear a casual jacket with dressy clothing.




DON'T try to make a statement by wearing common items in a slightly different manner.



DO wear your hair up so it is out of your eyes.



DO wear a dress at all times if you are a princess. Even while exercising.



DO wear tutus if all your dresses are at the cleaners.


But DON'T wear tutus without pants.

Bathroom talk

Today we went to the VIESHA parade. Of course Princess has to go potty after the parade. The only things around are port-a-pottys. I take the Princess in one and she had no interest in using one of those.

So we went inside one of the campus buildings and found a bathroom. Inside was two Iowa State Cheerleaders standing at the mirror. She goes into one of the stalls and starts doing her business.

Momma?

Yes princess? (I have a feeling nothing good is going to come out of her mouth)

I am going poopies.

Ok Princess.

I apologize to the cheerleaders.