An apology letter

Dear Neighbors -

Please accept my apology for the what you saw in front of our house last Saturday evening. It started out very innocent. It was super hot outside all day so the girls decided to take a dip in the pool to cool off before bed. Princess begged me to put on my swimsuit and swim with them. I reluctantly agreed, thinking I would just sit down in the pool and no one would see me. Like I said - it was hot outside and I thought it would feel good.

The girls started playing with their little squirt guns and shooting the King (who was not in his swim suit). The king got a hold of one of them and started squirting me in the face repeatedly. I was getting a little annoyed so I started splashing him. He finally disappeared and left the girls and I in peace. A few minutes later he appeared with the Super Soaker XXL 5000. I have no idea where he dug this gun out of, but he found it somewhere in our house. Our little baby squirt guns were no match for this beast.

What happened next is when things became out of control. We were all running around the yard ith buckets and squirt guns trying to soak each other. I know we live in a nice neighborhood and no one wants to see an overweight mom run around the house in a swim suit, but it happened. Luckily I finally came to my senses when one of you actually stopped your vehicle in front of our house to watch the show.

Again, I doapologize, but I can't guarantee it won't happen again... We had a lot of fun :)

Sincerely,
The Royal Highness

My morning to sleep in

Saturday is my morning to sleep in. I look forward to it all week. I love the feeling of sleeping until I want to wake up, no alarm clocks.

Wait... that was before we had kids.

Here is the reality of my "sleeping in"

6:45 - DQ wakes up. She has some sort of internal alarm clock that wakes up every day at exactly this time. The King takes 10 minutes to get out of bed to get her. During that 10 minutes everyone in the house can hear her taking to herself and calling out Mama!

6:55 - DQ is let out of her crib. She goes directly into my bedroom. She acts like she wants to lay in bed with us so the King lets her in and we all lay down together. It sounds great, doesn't it? However, anyone who knows DQ realizes she cannot sit or lay still for any amount of time.

7:00 - The Princess awakes. Most likely from all the commotion going on in our room.

7:05 - Somehow DQ locks herself and the princess in the bathroom. I can hear the princess calling out Daddy... Daddy. The King finally lets them out and I shut my bedroom door. DQ sees me doing this and immediately goes to my door and starts banging on it. The princess lets her in - isn't she a good helper? DQ comes in the room and pushes the radio button. The radio station is not tuned in so I just hear loud static with a beat.

7:15 - The king finally gets them for breakfast. Finally, peace and quiet. I start dozing off again.

7:25 - DQ comes back to the room. Turns on the radio again.

7:30 - King tells DQ that Dora is on. She goes to watch TV

7:35 - Just when I start getting comfy - DQ comes back into my room and is screaming QUACK, QUACK, QUACK... I open my eyes and she is standing there with a duck.

I give up at this point and get up. Maybe next weekend I will get to sleep in.